8.31.03

I had originally planned to do a hell of a lot of work on the site last night after Steev, Steph and Ri left, but of course I had to take an hour to watch Felicity (one of the better episodes was on too) and predictably enough, fell asleep on the couch with the stereo paused, the tv on and damn near every light in the house blazing. I'd been goofing around with the video camera too, taking pictures of myself and random art, etc. It's nice to have a little three day weekend here, just having a few days to chill and do nothing is so wonderful after all the driving around I did on my vacation. Which wasn't horrible, for the most part. Phish was awesome, I had a great time just hanging out with everyone and the whole scene made the long wait in traffic so insignificant. The trip to Johnstown with my mom had some entertaining moments as well and if nothing else, I put a hell of a lot of miles on Delilah. Going back to work after 2 weeks off wasn't even bad, I was feeling a lot better about myself...

Blah blah blah. Lots going on that has me emotionally drained at times, but last night turned out perfect. Steph and I were supposed to go play bingo, but she had fallen asleep while Ri was at work so I called Steev, he came over and when we couldn't decide what to order for dinner, I asked for a sign and a delivery guy from Pepper Jack's showed up to bring food to an apartment a couple doors down. So we sat on the stoop drinking smoothies (coffee, ice, bananas, rice milk and chocolate syrup) and playing Uno, it was a little chilly but I had these groovy new cords that I had whipped up just hours prior, so I kept fairly toasty for the most part. Then Steph called and said they were on their way over so we could christen our new toys; I love surprise guests! Four us playing Uno by lantern light and having a heck of a time, it was just great... And of course helped me keep my mind off other stuff. *sigh* I get so freakin' happy about the silliest little things sometimes, I swear. Not that in this case anything going on is silly and little, quite the opposite. It's like, you can almost feel the universe shifting... there's this big wrinkle in fate's fabric that I want so desperately to smooth but I can't, I'm caught right in the middle of it... and I feel like every word, every action, hell - even every thought - has to be so carefully chosen that it's driving me nuts. I don't know if anything can be set right, or what "right" is anymore. It just seems like one of those things that's so like "no way!" that nobody could have concocted it, ever. Anyway. In typical Heather-fashion I got so excited about the possibility of getting to spend quality (naked) alone time with a highly desirable male that I went out and bought new underwear! Ugh. I've got to stop letting myself get caught up in the heat of the moment, I clearly wasn't thinking, wasn't being rational, was completely blind to the fact that maybe I'm the only one here capable of setting things back on course so I shouldn't go around letting mistakes happen... and of all the people I've been thrilled to enjoy even the slightest bit of attention from, my latest crush du jour was just so incredibly wrong. Or at least I'm going to keep telling myself that, because if I believe that anything good (for me) could come of this I should probably get my head examined. Anyway.

I've been working on some good art projects, little crafty things and doing some catching up on things at nervousness, and my pants couldn't have come out better. Of course, it just occurred to me that I should have taken before and after pictures, as I don't think I ever had a picture of me wearing them... Anyway, they were these orange cords that I just had to have I got at the Gap a couple years ago, on sale for like $3 bucks or something... I wore them once, but I was always having trouble coordinating tops to wear with them, then they got a little tight and just looked ridiculous, so I pieced together some tan and brown corduroy scraps, opened up the legs and inserted the strip of patches... voila! Almost-sorta-patchwork pants! Now I'm thinking I might work on adding some cargo pockets or something, I think I have enough corduroy laying around to do that.

And that's that for today. I should make the most I can out of today, bingo tonight and tomorrow off before heading back to work! Maybe Garcia's for lunch tomorrow, hmm... Need to find out what time bingo is, too, Mr. Jim and I are supposed to head to the Larkin to see Sirsy and some singer-songwriter chick... I hope we get this all figured out soon or Heather will be grumpy! Just kidding... I had to make up a sentence that would go with that ridiculous picture. Heehee.