6.25.03

 

There's something so incredibly liberating about a fresh new haircut. That is, until you realize for the umpteenth time in your life that w/o being able to spend an hour blow-drying it one section at a time, it will be next to impossible to duplicate that just-left-the-salon look until it grows out just a bit. Or that with summer pending and the humidity it brings, you won't be able to do anything with it anyway until fall. So you spend some time blow-drying it, thinking about the fact that it will take at least a week to make it look normal and throw some goop in it before racing off to work. As always, I'm looking forward to my appt tonight. I think the past 2 weeks have been interesting, to say the least. When I was there last, prior to dashing off to meet people at DelMonico's (I'm still amazed, btw, that I had such an incredible meal at a steak house of all places) I had pretty much decided to wipe my hands clean of the two men most often on my mind lately. Since then... well. M started out fairly charming late in the week, moved into weird-mode and by this past Friday was a full-on asshole. Okay, who pulls that shit? Acting in front of your friends like this girl playing darts is just someone you've seen at the bar, then taking off with nothing more than a "seeya?!" Granted, I've never had any hopes or expectations from him to begin with, but I'm sorry, that is not how you treat someone you've been sleeping with, especially not if you wish to maintain any sort of friendship. Gee whiz. And to think I thought it was so cute that my birthday card had been purchased well in advance of the event itself. Oh well! And since I last heard from Ben we tried calling him a couple times, Steph called once and I called once, just to see if it might be possible to firm up these Marty/Phish plans sometime soon... that's gonna be one hell of a long drive but I'll start getting excited as soon as I know for sure what's really going to happen... and I've been invited (by Molly) to assist with the whole moving to CO thing but I just don't think it will work out with my vacation schedule/Marty/Phish, and as much as I would love to drive to Colorado (so much that I'm practically drooling at the thought) I simply don't have the money and the timing is so far off with my other plans for that week... ugh. So until hear from Ben I really don't know what 7.30/8.1-4 are going to look like for me, but I've invited Steev to by my backup date for Phish although at this point I'm more inclined to try to sell those tickets and put the $300 toward something else. Like paying off some of my bills! Colorado. Wow. Just the sound of it sounds so... I don't know. Perfect or something. But I've had to make a conscious effort lately not to get too excited about anything, everytime I do I walk around like a giddy little kid until my balloon bursts and I get all bummed out again. Anyway. No sense dwelling on that, I'm all scatterbrained again at the moment and with my 30th birthday rapidly approaching, I should have some important thoughts or something to share. I've come to a lot of conclusions in my life and the most important, lately, is this: it is important to remain strong, grounded and focused. And people who don't treat with you respect are not people that deserve to be in your life. Of course, it's interesting how I make allowances for certain people some of the time (or how something like NYE can be so easily forgiven), but I'll delve into that another time... No more allowances! For no one! Heehee.