6.20.03

Ugh. Welcome back to your previously scheduled journal entry! I apologize to all of my loyal fans out there for having been slack in my duties (hardy har!) but I've just been so busy... or uninspired... or not home... you name it, it's an excuse for slacking off. Updates: did not make it to open house, had to work late; had fun hanging out w/ M. last week at the bar followed by a Sunday brunch that felt more like a business meeting; got the kayak out of the garage, drove to two different bodies of water, resulting in adding 100+ miles to the car w/o ever getting in the water (but I'm ready to go at a moment's notice now, boat is on the car, gear is in the car, so I'll just consider that my test run of the season); went roller-blading; worked like a motherfucker, busting my ass all week, for the most part; I'm getting some new Birks for my birthday; Ben called and is (at least as of when I spoke to him) planning to come up to visit 1. for my birthday and 2. at the end of July to see Marty Sexton in Woodstock followed by a road-trip to Maine for Phish; have attended 3 out of 3 Alive @ 5 concerts this year (didn't make it to any last summer, went to all of them the summer before); Jim's niece is up from Florida and will be attending happy hour tonight; I have my new-ish computer up and running at home; will see Jamie and Kate mid-July when I pick them up at the airport in Hartford and we all go off to Ed/Julia's; Jackson Pollack is still doing quite well living with my parents; we had three sunny days in a row this week; some bastard squirrel has been systematically destroying the flora living on my deck; Delilah is still wearing her snow tires and I simply must haul ass to the DMV, stat! Gee whiz. Okay, I recognize that lists of stuff do not make up for a lack of journal lately. I do actually have several thoughts on several different topics but I just don't know where to begin. Word's getting around that I'm going to go to school for forensic psychology, so I have no excuse not to. My resume has been updated, too, which is always a good sign that I'm feeling pretty good in general. Feeling good in spite of my tendencies to freak out and cry when I get overwhelmed by taking on everyone else's shit in addition to my own, that is. I really do need to start working on that... tough to a point, then everything just comes to a big messy head and then... all is calm again. Just call me Hurricane Heather! I think I just think way too much about things and put so much pressure on myself to have all the answers all the time that I break down when I don't. I did learn again yesterday that I am an incredibly self-aware person, which is a cool-assed thing to be, I think. Hey, it comes from living in my own head so much of the time, I think. I can't stop thinking, ever, about anything and I've slowly come to realize that it's one of my gifts. Cool, right?

I'll maybe put some more effort into thinking/writing/sharing over the weekend, for now I just want to focus on getting the hell out of here, maybe taking a bath, and hanging out with Jim, Erin etc tonight.

Ciao!