6.10.03

Oh my good Lord. It's nearing 6 pm, and I still have to go home, feed Mocha, think about dinner, try to shake this foul mood I've been in and come back to work to spend about 4 hours working on a computer. Fuck! Perhaps I'll forget about shaking the foul mood for now and just savor the moment. Just kidding! It occurs to me that I was probably unecessarily bitchy Saturday night, but I was quite comfy at home (having been putzing around working on various tasks throughout the day, including the #*(@&! statement of personal/career goals and their relevance to my course of study for my grad school app) and I was just... I don't know. Pissed is kind of a strong word, but I guess I was a little hurt that M. didn't even say hi between trips out of town. "Hey, how's it going, no time to hang out right now but I just wanted to say hi" goes such a long with me. So in other words I was really in more of a mood to stay in than go out, and probably should have stayed home. It did turn into a rather odd evening anyway, with Bob/Brian coming in to the bar completely wasted and insisting that I'm Marcia, and Flavio (also completely wasted) saying how glad he was that my boyfriend's back in town! Dude, I don't have a boyfriend!!! I don't know how many times I have to tell him that, he never seems to get it. It also seemed to tweak M. a bit, he was all like "she doesn't have a boyfriend" and witty comeback Heather thought of saying "not that you know about" but of course that idea didn't pop into my head until about three hours later. So I was a bitch, the uncomfort level was skyrocketing by the minute, and no amount of beer could have fixed it. And it's funny how the tables can turn... the confusion induced by one recent situation could have been prevented by an honest-to-goodness conversation, a similar conversation that could have alleviated subsequent confusion about the situation that would have either happened or not happened or at least not led to a whole slew of confusion, had there been a conversation! My Lord I'm confusing. At any rate... in light of my mood at the moment I felt like a raving lunatic. I keep thinking I should just wipe my hands clean of all of them! In spite of all of that I guess the weekend was okay. Slept on the couch both Friday and Saturday night so I didn't get much sleep, but that's okay. Ended up not going to the Appel Farm thing, not sure if Ben went or not since he hasn't called me back yet, went to a gallery opening Friday night and had the best time w/ all my artsy peeps that I haven't seen in far too long... drank wine and hung out and I came up with some killer ideas. Turns out it was Sandra's birthday, too! Saturday it rained but I went to Art on Lark anyway, checked out the films, did a bunch of cleaning, worked on my grad school app... Sunday was just a lazy day, had breakfast around 8 am and spent the rest of the day doing God knows what, I can't remember at the moment. And that's pretty much that. Working crazy hours to get some computer shit done, also plan to have a whole stack of reports ready for the jackass when he comes back from Hawaii. Hmm. I think I just ran out of things to say, especially after re-reading that horrid sentence up near the beginning. Wow. Can't I ever just say what's on my mind? Well Lord almighty, never know who's gonna be reading this! Not that I care. Well, I do but I don't, if that makes any sense. Until google picks up on this, chances are the only people popping by will be those near and dear to me anyway, and they already know what a mess my life is!