Tuesday, May 20


Nothing much to say today. Worked late last night, then went home to bag up the trash and do nothing - the one night this week I'm not insanely busy, other than tonight (but of course I have a date with my TV tonight, season finale of 24). Called Steev to see if he wanted to take a walk over to the Chopper with me, oddly enough he was in the middle of doing sit-ups and I was eating veggies #3, 4 and 5 (5 a day!) while we made plans to go over to get Ben & Jerry's and smokes. We sat on my stoop for a while talking, for a change I did most of the listening while we pondered the mysteries of dating and getting to know people... I told him he should take charge and let his feelings been known. It's not always easy but people should say what's on their mind, I think. I don't know. I don't feel qualified to give advice in that area anymore but I've always got a free ear and a shoulder for anyone who needs one. Had a pretty killer backache last night so I took a codeine and hopped in bed to watch CSI: Miami. I must have been sleeping like a log because I never heard the phone ring just slightly after 1 AM. When I got up today I noticed that I had one new call listed on my caller ID and of all people, it was Ben. Ben?!?! Why would Ben call me? Why would anyone call at that hour unless something was amiss? Or call and not leave a message? I mean it's no big deal, people call me at wacky hours all the time but usually just if they need a place to stay or they forget that during the week I'm usually in bed at that hour. Hmm. Well I'm not going to think about it anymore, I'll just comment on its oddity and leave it at that. And it is odd. Especially considering that I have not seen or heard from him since NYE in Philly, nor did I ever expect to again. Oh well... I'm just curious what the conversation would have entailed if I had answered the phone, or if it would have just been a hang up... Strange, that.

I think I might go rollerblading or something after work, then do some writing before 24 comes on. Steev and I discussed the importance of working at creative pursuits on a regular basis rather than just waiting for the moment to strike... I told him that I had been thinking about spending a certain amount of time every day in order to hone my craft and he agreed, which was cool. Besides, I need to start spending more time on this stuff, particularly painting, if I'm ever going to have my own show at the gallery.

I'm tired. Can't think, can't write, just want to focus on my work.

I'm tired, so very tired...